mongrel

‘mongrel’ is an attempt to capture a journey of becoming and self-acceptance. I am an anglophone, mixed-heritage, American living in Quebec. I have no idea where my lineage traces back to in Africa. My father’s last name is a testament to the physical labor, and less than life value imposed on the African people that were forcibly taken over through the transatlantic slave trade. Barner: a person who builds barns, or worked as farm labourer, or kept house. With this name, I carry the residue of horror my ancestors survived. I am reminded of what was taken and eventually lost. I am unaware and disassociated from the cultures that once were attached to the melanin in my skin. I have never met my father's family because they were horrified by the idea of a mixed race baby. They called me a mongrel. In the states, I grew up in predominately white communities. I rejected my brown skin, brown eyes, and tangled hair. It wasn't until I moved out of Minnesota and was surrounded by the diversity of NYC, that I began to accept my mixed heritage. Since the beginning of this journey I have faced my own bias, and begun to heal the trauma that inhabits my body. It was not until 2020, that I began to see myself as beautiful. I understand that beauty is messy. It is all encompassing of both light and darkness in aura and presence. ‘Mongrel’ is a celebration of personal evolution.

Names of fibre artworks within “mongrel”
- The Portal That Beacons an Entrance : macrame installation with dip dyed doorway
- Chaos is the Messenger of Change : macrame installation with chaotic circular movement
- Lost in Lineage/ Stories My Ancestors Never Got to Share : macrame tapestry with synthetic braided hair
- Memories are Often Incomplete : three frames of woven tapestry with macrame knot connections to each other
- We Wear Our Lessons and Our Trauma : macrame clothing worn as costume in live performance/video for mongrel, top is displayed on a mannequin, and skirt is wrapped around pillar as decor